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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28362384">I don't really want to be alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliverthelongfurby/pseuds/oliverthelongfurby'>oliverthelongfurby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I have no idea how this is going to turn out, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:22:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28362384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliverthelongfurby/pseuds/oliverthelongfurby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Lukas needs a break from the stifling silence of his family. Elias Bouchard needs a friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CW for child abuse, child neglect, and alcoholism.</p><p>I've decided OG elias and peter lukas knew each other because why not &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter Lukas sat in the cabinet with his book and a flashlight. </p><p>	It was calm, despite all the spiderwebs and dust. </p><p>The whole house was quiet, though, and that’s not why he liked it.</p><p>He liked it because it wasn’t too quiet. </p><p>In the cabinet, he could hear the pipes, felt spiders crawling on him.</p><p>In the rest of the house, he could hear the occasional footsteps of his parents, never his siblings, they’d all learned long ago that to make themselves known was grounds for punishment. He sometimes heard his parents talking, usually arguments.</p><p>In the cabinet, he could have his own light, control when it was on and when it was off.</p><p>In the rest of the house, his parents didn’t like to have the lights on at night and didn’t like to have them off during the day.</p><p>In the cabinet, he could read whatever he wanted. Fantasy about dragons, wizards, far off places that if he pretended long enough, he could act like that was what was in store for him.</p><p>Outside, he could only read what his parents wanted. Nonfiction, mostly. About simple facts of life. Plants, the human body, some animals that his parents deemed him having a chance of ever meeting.</p><p>Right now, he was reading a book at eleven PM, later than his parents would ever let him stay up, with his flashlight, about elves. It fascinated him, the way they lived. Never aging, in a community, trying to solve problems together.</p><p>Elias Bouchard ran in the woods behind his house. It was bitterly cold, but he ran barefoot, in a thick winter coat he’d taken from the school’s lost and found. He’d taken boots, too, but a teacher had realised that they weren’t his and he’d gotten scolded. They threatened to call his parents, but Elias knew that his father would never let this incident slide and had taken two months of cleaning classrooms after school instead.</p><p>But for now he ran over grass, jumped over creeks, climbed trees, and simply enjoyed the feeling of the wind in his hair. It was after dark, but he knew these woods like the back of his hand, and although his father ranted about the coyotes, Elias knew the most dangerous thing were the feral cats that lived in the thick of the brambles near the pond.</p><p>He giggled as snow began to fall, the first snow of the year. He stuck out his tongue, letting the soft flakes melt.</p><p>Then he thought of something. Elias ran to an old rotted tree stump. It was covered by a blue tarp, and that tarp covered toys, books, and anything Elias found in the woods that he thought was pretty enough to keep. He checked to make sure that everything would be kept dry by the chart, and continued playing in the snow.</p><p>Peter was just about to turn the page when he froze. Stomping steps came down the hallway- from the direction of the front door.</p><p>“Hellen- I-” His father’s voice.</p><p>“Save it, Richard!” His mother’s.</p><p>“Please, I was trying-”</p><p>“I do EVERYTHING for this family, and when it’s my turn to finally get something nice in reward, you ruin it!”</p><p>	Peter turned off his light. He was barely breathing. He prayed that they didn’t hear him.</p><p>“That’s not fair and you know it!” His father was yelling now as well.</p><p>“Not fair? Do you want to know what’s not fair? I birth five of your sorry-ass, ugly children. I live in this huge, empty house where your fucking family comes in every few months to poke fun at our way of life!”</p><p>“My family is bad? MY family? Your family is so busy wrapped up in the fucking church that they can’t see what’s around them!”</p><p>Peter shut his eyes against the dark, wishing they would go away. He was used to their arguments, but they usually didn’t happen this late. He thought, wrongly, that he’d been safe from their wrath.</p><p>“At least we believe in something! What do you do?” His mother picked something off the shelf. Peter knew she’d throw it if she got mad enough.</p><p>“We believe in something real! Something that actually helps!” Peter’s father kicked the cabinet he was in and it shook. His siblings would be awake, now, probably pleading with nothing just like Peter was doing.</p><p>“Helps? You TORTURE PEOPLE!”</p><p>“And you reap the benefits! Your sorry ass has never worked a day in your life!”</p><p>Peter shut his eyes tight, fighting back barely suppressed tears. </p><p>Then the crash came. His mom had thrown whatever she’d been holding, at the floor, by the sound of things.</p><p>“I’m leaving.” Peter’s father sounded sad now.</p><p>“What?” His mother sucked in a breath.</p><p>“I’ll pay child support, but I’m going.”</p><p>“You’re leaving your children?”</p><p>“I’ve never cared about them and you know it.”</p><p>“Fine. Get out. I want you gone by eight on the dot tomorrow morning.”</p><p>There was a slammed door, and then a long sigh.</p><p>Elias knew he had to go back soon. He was shivering and soaked from the snow, but he didn’t want to stop enjoying the outside. It was better out here. Less anger, less aggression, less of the smell of booze and cheap cigars.</p><p>Elias stared at the path back to his house. He sighed, and then started on his way back. The woods would be here the next day. He took comfort in knowing that nobody would even try to develop the land here. Someone had tried once, but there had been too many issues with the town, the landscape, and everything.</p><p>He reached the back of the house, and jumped up to his window. The house was one story, painted in fading red paint and shingles falling off in places on the roof. He balanced on the window ledge, holding his breath in case the rotting wood came out from under him, and tried to pull open the window.</p><p>It was stuck.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Elias had two options. Try to sleep outside, or try to face his father.</p><p>Unfortunately, the snow starting to blanket the ground made sleeping outside a horrible idea.</p><p>Elias took a deep breath and walked around to the front of the house. He heard the TV inside, but that meant nothing. His father may have gone to bed hours ago, or he was still awake, or he was asleep on the couch, or he was still watching TV. Or, by some miracle, his mother had gotten a break from his father and was watching what she wanted to watch.</p><p>Elias pushed open the door and stepped inside.</p><p>He stood there for a moment, crouching behind the bookshelf next to the door. Right now, he was hidden from view of the couch, but that worked both ways.</p><p>After a few moments, Elias walked in. He didn’t hear anything right away, and he let himself relax.</p><p>But walking down the hallway to his bedroom, he heard something.</p><p>“Elias?” It was his father’s voice, slurred with alcohol and exhaustion.</p><p>Elias kept walking, hoping his father would go back to his haze without pressing the issue.</p><p>“Elias!”</p><p>Or not.</p><p>“Yes, dad?”</p><p>“Don’t ‘yes dad’ me. Where have you been? It’s almost midnight!” His father sounded calm, or calm enough, now, but if Elias didn’t tread carefully, he knew he’d lose what was left of his father’s patience.</p><p>“I was on a walk, dad.”</p><p>“Through the woods? Are you crazy?”</p><p>“Yes dad. No dad.”</p><p>“Do you want to get shot by the hunters, huh? Get fucking shot?”</p><p>“No, dad. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“If you were sorry you’d stop doing it! Don’t act like this is the first time, you little- prick!”</p><p>He heard his father standing up. Oh no.</p><p>“I’m really sorry dad. This is the last time.”</p><p>“You said that last time!”</p><p>Elias tensed, knowing there was nothing that could save him now. The only thing that he could hope was that his father was either drunk enough or not drunk enough to not follow him.</p><p>“I need to go to bed, dad. I have school tomorrow.” Elias started making for his room.</p><p>“Get the fuck back here!”</p><p>Elias pressed his fist against his teeth. He did it whenever he needed to deal with stress without making a noise.</p><p>“I’m really sorry, dad.” He didn’t dare turn around and look his dad in the eyes.</p><p>“Look at me, you prick!”</p><p>Elias turned around, looking at his father’s face. He looked nothing like him. Elias had light brown skin with brown eyes and soft, bouncy black curls. His father had straight, thick brown hair with the palest of skin, red hair, and green eyes. He looked like his mother, though. She had soft black curls, light brown skin, and brown eyes as well. There were rumors she had cheated, which Elias didn’t really like to think about. What mattered that his mom was a soft, kind woman, with a cold, crooked man.</p><p>“I feed you, bathe you and-” Elias could see his father’s fists clenching.</p><p>“Avery?” His mom had a yawn on her lips. Obviously fake, his mom never slept during the night, but his father was too drunk to tell. “What are you doing up?”</p><p>“Elias just got back. From the woods.”</p><p>“Elias! We talked about this! If you want to go, go during the day.”</p><p>“Aren’t you going to do anything?” His father practically shook with drunken anger.</p><p>“Not now. It’s too late, and Elias has school tomorrow. We’ll discuss your punishment, young man, tomorrow. Now take a shower and go to bed.”</p><p>Elias nodded, practically sprinting for the shower. He cleaned himself, put on fresh clothes, and hopped into bed. He shut his eyes, pretending to be asleep.</p><p>He stayed like that for a couple of minutes, hearing the voices of his parents arguing in hushed french, a language he didn’t understand as well as he should, before the voices stopped. His father stomped toward his parent’s bedroom, while his mom came over to his room.</p><p>She sat at the edge of his bed, running her hand through his hair. She undid the tangles from hours in the woods, and Elias smiled at her presence.</p><p>“I’m sorry, honey. We’re working on it.” Her voice shook with tears.</p><p>“I know, mom.” Elias grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.</p><p>“I wish I could scoop you up and take you away.”</p><p>“I know, mom.”</p><p>“He didn’t used to be like this.”</p><p> </p><p>Elias smiled. He found it hard to believe, sometimes, that his father had ever been different. But he had memories of when his father was still a functioning alcoholic, driving them down to the movies, celebrating holidays, looking… happy. “I know, mom.”</p><p>“Try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll take you to breakfast tomorrow.”</p><p>“Thanks mom.”</p><p>His mom stood up. Elias wanted to call her back, knowing that he’d be gripped by nightmares that night, but he knew that his mother had to deal with his father’s anger, or it would be bad for the both of them.</p><p>“Goodnight, baby.”</p><p>“Goodnight, mom.”</p><p>She shut the door, locking it behind her. It was their ritual. She’d lock the door so that if his dad woke up angry, he’d need to speak to his son before being allowed to see him.</p><p>Elias tried to go to sleep, but it only lasted a couple of minutes before his body started shaking with sobs, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was silent, as always, though, so he knew he was at least… somewhat safe.</p><p>Peter stayed in that cabinet for hours. He didn’t dare move, worried that if either of his parents were still there, they’d take their anger out on him.</p><p>Eventually, though, he crawled out. He hid the books under a stack of towels, put his flashlight in the pockets of his jeans, and walked over to his room. His oldest brother, Skyler, stood at the door to the hallway.</p><p>“Damn.” Was all he said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Peter agreed.</p><p>A lot of their interactions went like this. The brothers were close, despite their parents constantly pushing it on them that they couldn’t rely on anyone and blah blah blah…</p><p>“Do you think we’ll be okay?” Peter whispered after a second of silence.</p><p>Skyler smiled. He had the beginnings of a beard, being sixteen and five years older than Peter, as well as soft blond hair and green eyes. He went to public school, but he never spent time with anyone, as far as Peter knew, but still had great social skills. “We always are. Try and get some sleep.”</p><p>Peter stared at his hands. “Can I stay in your room tonight?” He did it when he was stressed, especially when their parents were fighting.</p><p>“Of course. As long as you try to get some sleep tonight.”</p><p>Peter hugged Skyler and ran to his room, jumping into the couch on the other side of the room from the bed, as he often did.</p><p>Skyler came into the room a few minutes after, turned off the light, and climbed into bed. </p><p>Peter laid awake for hours afterward, wondering if anything truly was going to be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Elias and Peter meet</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW for depressive thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three years later</p><p>Peter was walking in the woods.</p><p>He’d just fought with his mother, and needed a break. </p><p>Well, it wasn’t a fight. He’d failed a test at school, his mom had seen it, gotten mad, did-I-raise-you-to-be-like-this, blah, blah blah. Peter had pressed himself against the wall, trying to seem small as possible, trying to avoid his mother’s wrath.</p><p>After the fight, he’d needed to get out of the house, and the woods seemed like the perfect place to go. Quiet, secluded. It almost seemed ironic. Because his mother wanted him to serve The Lonely, she’d gotten mad at him, and he’d gone to be alone.</p><p>Peter didn’t want to serve The Lonely.</p><p>He’d much rather run away as soon as he had some cash, get on a bus, skip town, and try to forget about his fucked up family. Skyler had done it last year, and Peter hadn’t heard from him since. </p><p>It made sense, Peter supposed. If Skyler called or wrote, their mother could find out where he’d gone. Peter hoped that before he left town, Skyler at least gave him a phone number so that he didn’t have to cut off his brother with the rest of his family.</p><p>Peter had three other siblings, but one of them, Alexis, had been sent off to live with an uncle two years before, and the other two, Sam and Jeremy, were both quiet and spent long hours away from the house, never getting into trouble, per se, but definitely not doing what their mother would have deemed acceptable behavior for two kids being groomed to be servants of The Lonely.</p><p>He’d seen these woods on his way home from school, always been too shy to approach them. But now, at least, if a bear or some wolf came out of nowhere and killed him, at least he didn’t have to serve The Lonely anymore.</p><p>He tried to tell his mom, once, that he didn’t want to do it. She’d threatened to send him away, and although Peter didn’t love his family that much, he didn’t want to lose them. He’d thrown himself in his studies after that, not speaking unless spoken to, barely leaving the house in order to avoid any interaction.</p><p>He stepped over a branch, hating the way his feet made loud noises as he walked in the woods. He was used to being quiet, but being quiet along fallen leaves, dirt, and wildlife was different than being quiet along wooden floors, empty rooms, and his family.</p><p>Elias looked down from the tree he was perched in. There was someone walking the path below, someone Elias didn’t recognize. Sometimes dog walkers came through, but they were all familiar faces, strangers barely dared to walk the bramble-choked paths riddled with holes.</p><p>Elias couldn’t pick out the finer details of the person very well, they were blonde and stocky and that was about it. Elias knew he probably needed glasses, but he could lie well enough on the eye tests, and besides, they barely had enough money to afford glasses.</p><p>They didn’t really seem to be doing anything, just wandering, and every few minutes tossing a glance over their shoulder. Of course, the looking around was hardly effective as they hadn’t spotted Elias, who had been following them for about ten minutes.</p><p>They felt kind of bad for following this stranger, but not bad enough to stop.</p><p>Peter had a chain necklace in his hands. It helped to fiddle with things, to have a place to put all his nervous energy. Which means, when he fell, he didn’t catch himself.</p><p>“Fuc-”</p><p>He let out a cry of pain as he jammed his knee against a rock. He looked angrily at his assailant, a small hole that his foot caught in.</p><p>It was a warm, June day, so he was wearing shorts, and he could see that the rock had cut right through the skin.</p><p>Peter sighed. It hurt a lot, but he was decent at dealing with pain, and stood up and limped to a creek. He hesitantly dipped his knee in, sighing in relief as the blood and dirt were washed away.</p><p>Peter was about to stand up, walk back to his house and admit he had to deal with his mom, when he heard footsteps behind him.</p><p>He quickly turned around, startled, and saw a boy with curly black hair and light brown skin. He was wearing a huge gray shirt and cargo shorts, no shoes. “Nasty fall, huh?”</p><p>Peter wanted to run away. He hated talking to people, knew he was probably about to make a fool of himself, act too casual, too formal, whatever. </p><p>The other boy smiled a little, and Peter could see a gap in his front teeth. </p><p>They stood there awkwardly, Peter wondering if he could run away from that kid. He was taller, but then again, the other boy had managed to sneak up on him, so he wasn’t sure.</p><p>Eventually Peter realised the boy probably wanted an answer. “Yeah,” He said quietly.</p><p>“The trick is to not have your hands occupied.” The other boy looked towards the chain on the ground.</p><p>Peter smiled a little at that. “I’ll keep that in mind.”</p><p>“I have band-aids, if you want them.”</p><p>Peter blinked, confused. “Y-yeah. That’d be great.”</p><p>“Okay, wait here!” The other boy scrambled off, not making a sound, while Peter waited.</p><p>After a few moments, Peter started getting suspicious. What did this kid want? Help never came for free. Did he want Peter’s help with something? Did he want to be his friend? If the kid wanted to be Peter’s friend, he’d probably leave once he realised what a weirdo Peter was.</p><p>The rambling of Peter’s thoughts were cut off by the other kid running back, holding band-aids.</p><p>He handed the box to Peter who opened it and pulled out a band-aid. Suspiciously nice.</p><p>He opened the band-aid. It was a normal band-aid. Suspicious.</p><p>He stuck it on his knee. It stuck well. Suspicious.</p><p>“Can I have my box back?” The other boy asked.</p><p>“Oh- uh- yeah, sure.” Peter stuck out his hand and the other boy grabbed the box.</p><p>“What’s your name?” The other boy asked, closing the box.</p><p>Peter had vague thoughts of the other boy being a fairy wanting to steal his name. “Peter.”</p><p>The other boy smiled. Peter found himself staring at the gap in the teeth. It was cute, the way his tongue poked through when he smiled. “I’m Elias.”</p><p>“How old are you?” Peter asked.</p><p>“Fifteen. You?”</p><p>“Fourteen, but I turn fifteen in July.”</p><p>Elias nodded. He had that grin on his face, and it looked almost mischievous. “Where do you live?”</p><p>“Is this an interrogation?”</p><p>Elias laughed. “No, just curious why a non-local would come to these woods. They’re known to be quite treacherous, you know. And I don’t think I’ve seen you at school.”</p><p>Peter blushed. He didn't know that. “I’m pretty quiet. And I live about a kilometre away.”</p><p>“Ah, typical brooding quiet boy.” Elias had a teasing tone, very different from any of his siblings or, gods allow it, his mother.</p><p>Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “And who are you? The popular, mischievous, rouge?”</p><p>“I’m the knight in shining armor who’s actually evil.”</p><p>“Ah. I suppose we have to duel, then.”</p><p>“I suppose so. I live over there.” Elias nodded toward the houses that could just barely be seen through the trees.</p><p>Peter nodded. “Mind helping me up?”</p><p>“As the evil villain? Scandalous.” Elias stuck out a hand. “Though I suppose I have to gain your trust before betraying you.”</p><p>Peter laughed, and grabbed his hand. It was calloused and covered in scars. “Alas, that just makes your betrayal all the more frightening.”</p><p>Elias pulled him up, making Peter’s knee scream in protest, and laughed again. “But when you look back on your memories of me, you’ll know my secret weakness.”</p><p>Peter grinned. “And what’s that?”</p><p>“It’s a secret! Guess you’ll have to make more memories of me, huh?” He pulled back his hand.</p><p>Peter felt himself blushing. This was probably the most he’d ever talked to another person. “I suppose so. What does an evil villian do for fun?”</p><p>Elias grinned. “Climb trees, mostly. Make spooky noises. Throw rocks at people.”</p><p>“That is evil.”</p><p>Elias laughed. “Don’t worry, I use my powers to scare off loggers.”</p><p>Now that they were at eye level, Peter could see he was at least ten centimeters taller than Elias. He was used to being taller than people, but Elias buzzed with energy in a way that made him seem a lot taller than he was. He had a round face that was dotted with acne scars and dimples.</p><p>Peter nodded.</p><p>Elias stuck out his hand again. “Care to join my walk, quiet, brooding boy?”</p><p>Peter took it, and Elias tugged him through the woods, laughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello !! I hope you enjoyed this episode :-). Drink some water and take your meds!!! Goodnight funky folks</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Elias teaches peter how to commit crimes</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote this chapter a week ago so i was rereading it for the summary like... what the fuck happens.<br/>Homophobia tw</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter probably should have walked away after that. Stopped going to the woods, blamed the diversion on that day after hormones and stupidity.</p><p>But he didn’t.</p><p>Instead, he started to make every excuse to spend time with Elias. During the long days in the summer, his mom was at work, and Peter didn’t want to have the two choices of wandering the library, or wandering the “Prestigious Lukas Estate”, so he kept going back to the woods to see Elias.</p><p>After summer break ended, they discovered they went to the same school, but Peter still had to put up an illusion of solitude. He explained the bare minimum to Elias, not wanting to go into all the detail about The Lonely, but needing a justification why he refused to meet Elias’s eyes at school.</p><p>“It’s my mom,” Peter explained one day in the woods after Elias had gotten annoyed by Peter ignoring him. “She’s kind of crazy. She only wants us to socialize with members of our family. She sent one of my siblings away because they had friends outside of school.”</p><p>There was an awkward moment of silence. “How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Elias stared at the ground, not Peter. He hadn’t grown any taller, but Peter had, and he still towered over Elias.</p><p>“I guess you don’t, really.” Peter said after a moment of silence. “But I do really want to do things with you. In public. But if my mom finds out…”</p><p>Peter let himself trail off. He gripped his arms, terrified Elias would find him irrational and storm off.</p><p>Instead, Elias stood up and smiled. “Your mom sounds like a piece of shit.”</p><p>Peter stared at him, mouth open. “Elias!”</p><p>Elias laughed. There was a sparkle in his eyes. “What? It’s true.”</p><p>“What’s your mom like?” Peter said. It was almost a challenge.</p><p> </p><p>Elias’s gaze softened. “She’s lovely. My dad sucks, though.”</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Peter cleared his throat uncomfortably. He still wasn’t great at this whole empathy thing.</p><p>Elias shook his head. “Maybe one day.”</p><p>Peter nodded and sat down next to Elias. “My dad left us.”</p><p>Elias stared at him for a moment. Peter bit his tongue, terrified that he’d overstepped.</p><p>Then Elias grabbed Peter’s hand. He flinched at the touch. Elias liked to grab Peter’s hand when he was sad or excited, but after so many years with a family that saw hugging as a sin, Peter was still getting used to it. He liked it, though. “When?”</p><p>“Almost four years ago, now. I don’t really remember him. He wasn’t a good dad.” Peter felt tears start to well in his eyes. He’d never talked to anyone about it.</p><p>Elias leaned on Peter. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Peter felt himself start to tremble with tears. He wanted to pull away, to go find somewhere quiet to cry. It’s what he would have done with his family, or really anyone else that wasn’t Elias.</p><p>Peter shut his eyes, starting to feel tears roll down his cheeks.</p><p>After a moment, he felt two arms wrap around him. Elias was hugging him. </p><p>It was weird, being touched. Elias had held his hand, but never hugged him. The part of him that was perfectly sculpted into the son his mother wanted begged him to pull away, to scream at Elias for daring to embrace him.</p><p>But the part of his identity that he still owned, that wanted affection more than he feared his mother, melted at the touch. He didn’t deserve Elias. Elias was sweet, not beaten down by everything and not beating others down. Peter was cold, building up walls. He’d never be as good as a friend to Elias as Elias was to him.</p><p>But he didn’t let himself pull away. Instead, Peter cried as Elias tried his best to comfort him.</p><p>After what felt like a while but couldn’t have been more than five minutes, Peter stopped crying. He still had those post-crying hiccups, but tears no longer threatened the space behind his eyes.</p><p>Elias let his hands fall. He was still leaning on Peter, and one of his hands were on his leg, which felt calming Peter.</p><p>“Thanks, Elias. I… needed that.” Peter cleared his throat, feeling awkward. </p><p>“Sometimes it helps,” Elias said. “To just cry it all out.”</p><p>“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Peter said. It was a bit of a tease, a little bit serious.</p><p>“I am.” </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Elias laughed. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. It’s self care.”</p><p>Peter wrinkled his nose. “I’m fairly certain it’s not.”</p><p>Elias snorted. “Compared to bottling up all your emotions?”</p><p>Peter smiled. “Fair enough.”</p><p>They sat like that for a while, and every so often Peter would shake with tears. Elias didn’t care, though. He did want to, however, beat Peter’s dad to a pulp for being a bad dad and then leaving. Honestly, Elias would be very glad if his dad left, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be at least a little bit sad.</p><p>Eventually, Elias stood up. “I,” He said, “Am starving.”</p><p> </p><p>Peter looked up and wiped a tear off his face.</p><p>“I think that we should go get some food.” Elias had the I-am-going-to-do-something-stupid grin on his face as he said this.</p><p>“How?” Peter asked. “Neither of us have any money and I doubt you’d want to go back to either of our houses.”</p><p>“Ah, my friend, we do not need money to get things from stores.”</p><p>“How- oh. Oh. No!”</p><p> </p><p>Elias smiled wider. “Yes.”</p><p>“We are not- stealing!”</p><p>“My friend, shoplifting is an ancient art. Preformed by generations of stupid kids.”</p><p>“My mom would kill me. Like she’d actually kill me. Not even send me away. Just straight up murder.”</p><p>“Not if we don’t get caught.” </p><p>“I’ve never even stolen anything!” Peter stood up.</p><p>“It’s not hard. Just follow my lead.”</p><p>“This is one of the stupidest ideas you’ve ever had.”</p><p> </p><p>Elias grabbed Peter’s hand, tugging him along, knowing he’d won. “I know.”</p><p>They walked into town, heading for the first convenience store they saw. Peter didn’t say anything, consumed by anxiety about getting caught.</p><p>They walked inside the store, went to one of the back isles, and then Elias grabbed a candy bar. He was fast, and had Peter not know what he was going to do, he probably would have missed it.</p><p>Elias did the same thing several times, and Peter even grabbed one. It was nerve wracking, worrying that at any second an employee would turn the corner and see them.</p><p>After a few minutes of this, Elias led Peter out the door. By then, his heart was practically beating out of his chest, and when they walked out the door, he couldn’t help but laugh from relief. </p><p>Elias was grinning, and Peter stared at him. He looked adorable, the part of Peter’s mind that was annoyingly fascinated with cute boys said. Peter found it hard to disagree. A little bit of summer tan left in late October, a smile that revealed his teeth and brought out his dimples. For all of his mother’s conservative-ness, bringing him to church despite serving a god one might describe as evil, his mother had never been able to get rid of the… queerness of Peter. Peter tried not to think about it, thinking that everyone might hate him if they knew. Well, Peter said everyone, but he really just meant Elias. And although Elias had ever seemed to be a hateful person, that seemed like a conversation that always was reserved for a later date.</p><p>“See? We’ll make a master thief out of you yet.” Elias motioned toward the one candy bar poking out of Peter’s sweatshirt pocket.</p><p>“You have so much confidence,” Peter laughed.</p><p>“Alas, this is all simply a facade. I am pretty good at stealing, though. What candy do you like?” They had walked some distance away from the store by then, and Elias pulled out the candy he had.</p><p>Peter cleared his throat. “I don’t actually- I’ve never- had chocolate?”</p><p>Elias stopped, clutching his chest in mock pain. “You’ve never had chocolate?”</p><p> </p><p>Peter laughed a little bit at Elias’s theatrics. “Never.”</p><p>Elias shook his head. “This simply will not stand. No friend of mine is going to not be able to abide by the sacred practice of eating ridiculously unhealthy amounts of junk food.”</p><p>Peter smiled. “What would you recommend?”</p><p> </p><p>Elias handed Peter a piece of chocolate. “Try this.”</p><p>Peter gingerly unwrapped it. He took a little bite, unable to not smile at Elias’s proud grin.</p><p>“Oh my god.” Peter swallowed it. “This is delicious.”</p><p>Elias nodded sagely. “I’ve trained you well, young one.”</p><p>Peter laughed. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”</p><p> </p><p>Elias took a bite of his own piece of chocolate. “I am your favorite idiot.”</p><p>A couple of minutes later, they were back in the woods. </p><p>Elias dangled upside-down from a tree, his legs tucked over the branch. It was one of his favorite positions to relax in, even if he did get blisters from the bark.</p><p>“One of these days, you are going to fall.” Elias was eye level with Peter at this height, which was one of the reasons he liked it so much. Peter’s eyes were a grayish-blue, and his black eyelashes and eyebrows highlighted them nicely. Not like Elias spent a long time thinking about that. Nope.</p><p>“And when I do, I’m sure it will be a gory death. But if I fall right now, you will catch me, right?”</p><p>Peter blushed. Elias enjoyed making Peter blush. It was very easy to do, with his pale skin. “Of course I will.”</p><p>Elias could see the chocolate stained in his teeth. Peter had discovered chocolate for the first time, and clearly enjoyed it. His breath smelled sweet, not in the traditional sense, like, well,  cheap chocolate. </p><p>Elias grinned, and let himself drop from the branch. Peter scrambled to catch him.</p><p>Elias landed face-down in Peter’s arms, and laughed.</p><p>“That was dangerous!” Peter sounded angry, even though Elias knew he wasn’t, not really. He could feel the muscle in Peter’s arms, and grinned like an idiot.</p><p>“I had to test my theory!” Elias appreciated the comedy of having a friend that was much taller and stronger than you, and it wasn’t worth it unless you made them carry you at least sometimes.</p><p>Peter sighed, but Elias could tell he was probably smiling anyway. “You’re too impulsive.”</p><p>“And you find that incredibly charming.” Elias twisted himself upright. </p><p>Peter put him down, dropping him maybe a little too hard on the soft ground. Elias laughed.</p><p>Peter flopped down beside him.</p><p>Elias stared at the sun. It seemed low in the sky. “What time is it?”</p><p>Peter glanced at his watch. Elias would probably make fun of him for that later. “Seven-fifteen.”</p><p>Elias gave an exaggerated sigh. “You should probably head back for the night.”</p><p>Peter winced. Elias knew he didn’t want to go back. To be fair, Elias didn’t either, but he had a dad that had a 50/50 chance of noticing he had even been gone in the first place, while Peter had… well, Elias wasn’t one-hundred perfect sure of the temperament of Peter’s mom, but Peter seemed nervous whenever she was mentioned.</p><p>Elias patted Peter on the back. “Goodnight, big man. I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p><p>Peter smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t get eaten by bears?”</p><p>Elias nodded. “I’ll try my best.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>legend says every time I made a joke about Elias dying my gf (who beta reads these) dies inside &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Elias makes stupid decisions at a party and Peter tags along</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I feel like more people would read this if I actually tried with the chapter summaries. but i feel like my current chapter summaries are AMAZING thank you very much.<br/>Tw for Alcohol, cannabis and implied child abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On October 30th, Peter and Elias sat with their toes dipped into the pond. The water was frigid, however, Elias had challenged Peter to see how long they could keep their feet in the water before they needed to pull out. Peter had pretty good cold tolerance, but after a couple of minutes, he was considering giving up. Elias wasn’t even bothered, though.</p><p>	“So, Peter, got any plans for Halloween?” Elias tapped his hands on the ground.</p><p>	“What?” Peter was surprised Elias would ask.</p><p>	“Plans? For Halloween? Hallow’s eve? Spooky day?” Elias looked at Peter, smiling.</p><p>	“I’m fairly certain it’s not called that.”</p><p>	“It is the spookiest day.”</p><p>	Peter grunted at the burning cold in his feet. “I’ve never celebrated.”</p><p>	Elias gasped. “Never?”</p><p>	Peter shook his head. “Never.”</p><p>	“First the chocolate, and now this? How am I supposed to be friends with someone who doesn’t even have culture?”</p><p> </p><p>	“Is it that important?”</p><p>	“THAT important? It is probably the MOST important thing we'll ever do!”</p><p>	Peter ran through tomorrow’s schedule in his mind. He didn’t have school, and he’d probably be able to sneak away. His mom had been pulling longer work hours, so she wouldn’t notice if he was gone a little longer than normal. “Okay then. I don’t have any plans tomorrow.”</p><p>	Elias smiled. “Well. I’ve been considering going to the Halloween party being held at Dave Michael’s house. I have a friend that can drive us.”</p><p>	“Is this an invitation?”</p><p>	Elias cocked his head. “Are you interested?”</p><p>	Peter smiled. “I would love to go to the party with you.”</p><p>	“I can’t believe it. I’m finally getting the elusive Peter Lukas to go out in public with me. A momentous occasion.”</p><p>	Peter looked down at his hands. He hadn’t considered people might notice if he was at the party… and if his mom found out…</p><p>	“Whoa, calm down. Everyone will probably be drunk or high. Nobody's gonna make a big fuss.” Elias sounded concerned, and Peter felt bad for making him nervous.</p><p>	“No, don’t worry about me. You’re probably right.”</p><p>	Peter saw a blush creeping up Elias’s cheeks. “You don’t need to go-”</p><p>	Peter grabbed Elias’s hand. “Elias. I would like nothing more than to go to the party with you.” He used the formal tone he did when dealing with his extended family at funerals and formal gatherings, and Elias laughed.</p><p>	“Very well then, Sir Lukas.”</p><p>	Peter pulled his feet out of the creek. “Stars, that is cold.” He shivered a little bit from the chill.</p><p>	Elias jumped out after him. “Ha! I win.”</p><p>	Peter smiled at Elias’s triumphant tone. He was adorable when he was like this.</p><p>	“Wait- do you even know how to dress on Halloween?” Elias asked.</p><p>	Peter bit his lip. “There’s a dress code?”</p><p>	Elias sighed. Long, drawn out, and dramatic. “Peter, Peter, Peter. Everyone knows that you need to have a costume on Halloween!”</p><p>	“What do you dress as?” Peter felt stupid asking, but this really wasn’t his area of expertise.</p><p>	“Anything! Usually something spooky, though.” Elias practically hummed from excitement.</p><p>	“What constitutes as ‘spooky?’” Peter understood The Fears well enough, but wasn’t sure how that would translate to a Halloween costume.</p><p>	Elias clicked his tongue. “You know what, leave planning to me. Are you free at six tomorrow?”</p><p>	Peter nodded.</p><p>	Elias beamed. “Excellent. I will come by with stuff for a costume. Do you like black lipstick?”</p><p>	“Makeup?” Peter was surprised.</p><p>	“No, I’m talking about the black lipstick that is completely unrelated to makeup. Yes, you oaf.”</p><p>	“I’ve never used it?” It wasn’t a question, not really, but he said it in a questioning tone.</p><p>	“I’m going to take that as a yes, then!”</p><p>	Peter couldn’t help but laugh. Elias’s good mood was infectious. “Where are you even going to get black lipstick?”</p><p>	“I have my ways.” Elias gave an exaggerated wink. </p><p>	“Alright, Sir Bouchard.” </p><p>	The next day, Elias was at the gates to the Lukas Estate at exactly six pm. Peter had spent most of the day pacing around the house, and the last hour standing at or near the gates. He knew his mom wasn’t home and probably wouldn’t be home for another few hours, but he was still terrified of her meeting Elias.</p><p>	When he heard Elias at the gates, he sprinted to them. There was no way to get in past the gates if they were closed and you didn’t have a key legally, and Peter had absolutely no doubts that Elias wouldn’t wait a second after learning this fact before jumping the fence.</p><p>	He turned the corner so he was visible past the gates, and Elias smiled. “Peter! Great to see you!”</p><p>	Peter rolled his eyes. “Hold on, I’ll let you in in a second.” He used his key and pushed open the gates.</p><p>	“This is some rich people shit,” Elias said, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>	Peter didn’t say anything. He was panting from his sprint to the gates, and he wouldn’t have known what to say, anyway.</p><p>	Elias raised a bag and shook it. The stuff inside clattered against itself. “I have the stuff.”</p><p>	Peter laughed. “You make it sound like you’re selling drugs.”</p><p> </p><p>	Elias smirked. “Who knows? I might be. You don’t know for sure what’s in here.”</p><p>	Peter shook his head while Elias unzipped the bag.</p><p>	“Behold.” He took out a stick of black lipstick and popped off the cap. “I also have a concealer and blush!”</p><p>	“What are you going to do with those?”</p><p>	“I am going to make you the SPOOKIEST ghost anyone EVER saw.”</p><p>	“Really?” Peter sounded amused.</p><p>	“Really. You’re going to leave people gasping and shaking in fear.”</p><p>	“What are you going to do for yourself?” Peter couldn’t help but be curious.</p><p>	“My good man, I am going to be…” He made an exaggerated motion and pulled something out of the bag. “A spooky devil!” He popped on a pair of devil horns and unzipped his coat a little bit so Peter could see the black shirt underneath.</p><p>	“What constitutes a devil as ‘spooky?’” Peter asked.</p><p>	“All devils are spooky, my good man. You just need a little pizzazz.”</p><p>	Peter rolled his eyes. “Would you like to come in?”</p><p>	Elias nodded, and Peter led him inside. He knew he was unlikely to encounter either of his siblings, they would likely be playing outside or studying, but he still found himself flinching at every small noise. Elias noticed.</p><p>	“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so afraid of their own house. Did you break in? Criminal.”</p><p>	“I’m not- afraid!” Peter sputtered indignantly. “And I do live here.” He motioned to a photo of himself on the mantel. </p><p>	“You could have planted that there.” Elias sounded suspicious, but Peter knew he was only making fun of him.</p><p>	“Ah, you got me. Instead of going to your house or our usual spot, I picked a random person’s house, printed a key based on my memory, and broke in,” Peter said dryly.</p><p>	“Tsk, tsk. And only a few days ago you were afraid of shoplifting. For shame, my good sir.”</p><p>	Peter laughed. They walked up the stairs to the second floor.</p><p>	“We should do this in the bathroom, in case we make a mess on your fancy carpet,” Elias said.</p><p>	“Alright then, this way.” Peter motioned for Elias to follow him and led him to the bathroom.</p><p>	“Excellent! Now we can begin!” Elias smirked as he dumped out the contents of the bag. There was a frightening amount of makeup. “Have you ever worn any makeup before?”</p><p>	“No.”</p><p>	“No? Disgusting. It’s okay, I can show you!” Elias pushed Peter down to the floor. He sat with his legs crossed. Elias hummed with nervous energy as he opened a thing of powder. He had a brush, and dipped it in there. Then, he spread it over Peter’s face.</p><p>	“How do you know how to put on makeup?” Peter asked.</p><p>	“I’m going to tell you a secret.” Elias’s voice dropped to a conspirtal whisper as he said, “I don’t.”</p><p>	Peter laughed. Elias looked so serious, despite the fact that what he was talking about was not serious at all.</p><p>	“Now stay still, because I’m not one hundred percent sure how to get all this off if I mess up.” Elias crouched on his knees so he was eye level with Peter.</p><p>	Almost forty minutes later, Elias grinned. “I am done!”</p><p>	Peter stood up and looked in the mirror. His entire face was a ghostly, pale white. He had more pronounced cheekbones, and the space around his eyes and his lips were black. “Whoa.”</p><p>	“Terrifyingly spooky, right?” Elias stood up next to Peter, admiring his handiwork.</p><p>	“Yeah.” It was by far not the most terrifying thing Peter had ever seen, but it was pretty amazing. “You did an amazing job.”</p><p>	“I’m glad you like it!” Elias had an impish grin on his face. “I wish I could do something as glamorous on my beautiful face, but unfortunately, my dear Peter, all my spooky devil costume requires is some eyeliner.”</p><p>	Peter watched as Elias fiddled with the eyeliner, wishing that he could help him, but he had no idea how to put eyeliner on.</p><p>	“The rest of my costume is spectacular, though,” Elias said when he had finished.</p><p>	“Oh?” Peter said.</p><p>	“Behold.” Elias took off his coat, and underneath he was wearing a black tank top with fishnet sleeves. </p><p>	Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “You look like a dollar store punk.”</p><p>	Elias raised an eyebrow. “I am a beautiful dollar store punk.”</p><p>	Peter grinned. “All you need is some cheap hairspray.”</p><p>	Elias snickered. “Okay, c’mon, you should have seen that coming after I made you look like an extra in a 60s horror movie.”</p><p>	Peter rolled his eyes. “Do I have to wear anything dramatically punk, or are my normal clothes working?”</p><p> </p><p>	Elias sighed dramatically. “Peter, Peter, Peter. So little imagination! I SUPPOSE you can wear normal clothes, but I don’t expect this kind of VIP treatment next time.”</p><p>	Peter laughed. “I have an ugly yellow jacket, if that works.” Simon Fairchild had given him it as a gift during the last gathering between the two families. Whenever Simon saw Peter, he always gave Peter the ugliest clothes he could find. It was sort of funny, actually.</p><p>	Elias brightened. “Excellent. Go get it. The glaring ugly yellow-ness of it will sell the whole ‘tortured soul’ thing.”</p><p>	“Am I a tortured soul?” </p><p>	“Yes. And I am your torturer. Rar.”</p><p>	Peter laughed. “You’re not very intimidating.”</p><p>	Elias snorted. “I haven’t even reached my full potential! Now go get that jacket.”</p><p>	As Peter walked down the hall to his room, he thought of how angry his mother would be if she was home. Peter was having fun with another person his age, who was dressed as a devil, and they were preparing to go to a Halloween party where they would socialize with other people his age.</p><p>	Peter laughed softly as he reached into his closet for the jacket. He wore it sometimes, despite the fact it really was quite ugly, and he shrugged it on over the shirt he had on.</p><p>	He walked back to the bathroom, where Elias was still waiting.</p><p>	“Ah! Perfect. The ugliest yellow!” Elias walked over to Peter.</p><p>	“Right? At least it’s comfortable.”</p><p>	“Where did you even GET this? This is. Hideous.” Elias grabbed the fabric and rubbed it between his fingers.</p><p>	“A family friend gave it to us.”</p><p>	Elias shook his head and gave a tsk-tsk. “That family friend is cruel. Evil. Cursing our eyes with this… horrible.”</p><p>	Peter smiled, but didn’t respond. The family friend was kind of evil, throwing people off buildings and such, but although Peter was closer with Elias than really any of his other friends, he didn’t really want to get into the fears yet.</p><p>	Elias smacked his hands together. “What time is it?”</p><p>	Peter glanced at his watch. “Seven-three.”</p><p>	“We still have thirty minutes before we need to head out. Any ideas of what we can do to pass the time?”</p><p>	Peter shook his head. He had plenty of books, but other than that, there was basically nothing interesting in the house.</p><p>	Elias frowned. “That certainly will not work.” There was a pause as Elias thought. “Would you like to give me a house tour?”</p><p>	“A house tour?” Peter responded.</p><p>	“Yes! I’d like to see your beautifully glamorous house.”</p><p>	“It’s kind of depressing. Lots of empty rooms.” Peter did not want to show Elias his house. </p><p>	“I’ll get some ideas on how to liven the place up next time I come around!”</p><p>	Peter did not want Elias to come around again. He liked Elias, but he’d already been wracked with enough paranoia about someone who works in the house or one of his siblings would see Elias and tell his mother. “Isn’t there ANYTHING else we can do?”</p><p>	“You said you had no ideas!”</p><p>	Peter sighed. “Fine.”</p><p>	Peter waved Elias out of the bathroom. Elias grabbed the bag of makeup and followed him, a big grin on his face. Peter knew that he was probably going to regret this, but Elias looked very happy nevertheless.</p><p>	Peter led Elias to his bedroom, which was the next room on the left. “This is my bedroom.”</p><p>	Elias peeked over his shoulder. “Wow.”</p><p>	Peter rolled his eyes. He knew the room was boring, a bookshelf filled with informational books, a desk where he did his schoolwork, a wardrobe, a closet, and a bed, in a huge room. Those themselves weren’t that boring, but they were all in pale blues, grays, and white. Everything was also very neat. “I know.”</p><p>	Elias shook his head. “This room doesn’t even look… lived in. It looks like, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, a hotel.”</p><p>	Peter sighed. “I know.”</p><p>	Elias laughed. “Is the whole house like this?”</p><p>	Peter sighed again. “Pretty much.”</p><p>	Elias grinned and gestured back towards the hallway. “Lead the way!”</p><p>	Twenty-seven minutes and many rooms of a huge house later, Peter glanced at his watch. “It’s seven thirty.”</p><p>	“Ah, that would mean it’s almost time to go!” Elias grabbed Peter’s hand, and then stopped. “How do we get out of this house again?”</p><p>	Peter chuckled. “This way.”</p><p>	Peter led Elias through the confusing maze of hallways, out the front door. “Are we walking to the party?” He asked.</p><p>	“No, I have a friend with a van who offered to drive us. We just have to meet them at the bus stop.” Elias started walking back toward the gate, and Peter opened it.</p><p>	They walked toward the bus stop. The sun was barely peeking out at this point, and long shadows stretched over the ground. At one point during their walk, Elias reached up and watched as the shadows of his fingers stretched on the road. </p><p>	“Truly terrifying,” Peter said in a mock-serious tone, earning a gentle shove from Elias. </p><p>	After a few minutes, they reached the bus stop. They stood there for another ten minutes, shivering in the cold, before a van pulled up. The window rolled down. </p><p>	“Hey, Elias!” The driver was a tall, pale, person with black hair. “Who’s your hot date?”</p><p>	“Hello, Bao. The hot one would be Peter,” Elias said through a laugh as Peter blushed furiously.</p><p>	Bao grinned. “Hey, Peter. This is Natasha,” Natsha waved from the passenger’s seat, “And you two can get in the back.”</p><p>	Elias wrinkled his nose. “Are there still no seats?”</p><p> </p><p>	Bao laughed. “Don’t worry! We added seats. But if we didn’t, there really wouldn’t be anything you could do about it.” </p><p>	Elias pulled open the van door. “Fair enough. C’mon, Peter.”</p><p> </p><p>	Peter stood there hesitantly. </p><p>	Elias jumped back down from the van after a moment and grabbed Peter’s hand. “They CAN be trusted. Even if Bao does joke about throwing us out of the van.”</p><p>	Bao laughed. “Guilty as charged.”</p><p>	Peter smiled a little. “Okay, fine. I’m just… not used to being around so many… people.”</p><p> </p><p>	Bao coughed something that sounded suspiciously like “hermit”.</p><p>	“If you want to leave, we can. I can always make Bao give up their keys,” Elias said.</p><p>	“Can you even drive?” Bao laughed.</p><p>	“Legally? No.” Elias smirked.</p><p>	Peter shook his head. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just…” He bit his tongue, and after another second of hesitation, hopped into the van.</p><p>	“There’s the spirit, Petey!” Bao turned up the radio, which was playing some rock song.</p><p>	“Wait a second- what is Natasha dressed as?” Elias peeked over the seat. Bao was wearing cat ears and a collar, so it wasn’t really hard to guess.</p><p>	Natasha grinned, and pulled a lampshade from under her feet. “A lamp.”</p><p>	Elias laughed so hard tears came to his eyes. Peter had to admit it was pretty funny.</p><p>	“So- Peter. Before we drive off, I should probably tell you something.” Bao’s tone was suddenly serious, which made Peter nervous.</p><p>	“Bao, you don’t need to-” Elias sounded serious as well, which didn’t help Peter's nerves.</p><p>	“I’m genderqueer.” Bao looked at Peter. Their expression was unreadable.</p><p>	“What?” Peter was stunned.</p><p>	“I’m not a girl or a boy.”</p><p>	“Ah.”</p><p>	“Do you know anything about that?”</p><p>	“I- I think so? I read about it online.”</p><p>	Bao grinned. “I’d prefer if you used they/them pronouns for me.”</p><p>	Peter nodded. “I- I can do that. Thank you. For uh- for telling me.” Peter never had anyone come out to him before. It had taken him years to admit to himself he was queer, and he was stunned at Bao’s condifidence to tell him right off the bat.</p><p>	Bao turned back toward the road. “I figured any friend of Elias would be okay with it. He is a little fruity, after all.”</p><p>	Elias laughed. “Bao!”</p><p>	Bao snickered, pulling the car out of park and into the road. “I’m right, though.”</p><p>	Elias snorted. “I’m a lot bit fruity, thank you.”</p><p>	Peter blushed. He leaned his head against the window, feeling it bump with the van’s motion as the others talked. Well, it was mostly Bao and Elias. Natasha seemed pretty quiet. It was probably rude to go silent after something as big as that, but his brain was still reeling from the new information. </p><p>	It did, however, work to quell his worries about Elias judging him for being queer.</p><p>	After about ten minutes, they pulled up to a house pulsing with music. It was large, and lights flashed inside.</p><p>	Peter felt nervous as he thanked Bao for the ride and climbed out of the van.</p><p>	“No problem, dude. Now, I’ll be back out here at midnight to ride you guys home, but if you need a ride home any earlier, just come find me.” Bao climbed out after Natasha and after Elias came out, locked the doors.</p><p>	Elias waved. “Have fun!”</p><p>	Bao grinned. “See you, crazy teens!”</p><p>	Natasha and Bao walked off toward the door, but Peter didn’t follow.</p><p>	Elias looked back at Peter. “This is a lot, huh?”</p><p>	Peter waited a moment before nodding.</p><p>	Elias smiled. “It’s okay. You can take your time.”</p><p>	Peter waited there for a moment, taking deep breaths. “Alright. Let’s go.”</p><p>	They walked in, and Peter immediately was blown away by how… big everything was. There were dozens of people in the front room, and the smell of weed and beer filled the air. Music pounded through the house, and people sang and screamed along to the lyrics. People danced and made out anywhere and everywhere, and someone who Peter assumed was the homeowner walked up to them and told them not to break anything, and if they were going to smoke, to please do it outside. They nodded, and the other person walked off.</p><p>	“What would you like to do first?” Elias looked up at Peter, a smile forming on his face, revealing the gap between his teeth.</p><p>	“I… uh…” Peter was still processing how loud everything was. The parties he’d been required to attend because ‘family integrity’ and whatever had been nothing like this.</p><p>	“Would you like to eat ridiculous amounts of junk food?”</p><p>	Peter laughed. He hadn’t had junk food, not before meeting Elias. “Sure.”</p><p>	Elias grabbed Peter’s hand and navigated through the ground. There was significantly more pushing and shoving required for Peter, being much larger than Elias, but it was still nice to have someone who knew what they were doing. Without Elias, Peter probably would have just wandered around until he got too overwhelmed to walk anymore.</p><p>	In an immeasurable amount of time that could have been twenty seconds or ten minutes, they reached a table. It had cups of questionable liquid in red solo cups and bowls of popcorn, cheese puffs, and a candy that Peter wasn’t familiar with but smelled sweet and had bright colors.</p><p>	“Alright, Peter! Here’s the junk food.” Elias grinned as he reached a hand into the not-recognized candy and then ate the candy.</p><p>	“Uh…” Peter stared at the food. And then back at the questionable liquid in red cups that Peter was now certain contained at least some alcohol by the smell of it.</p><p>	Peter awkwardly grabbed a couple of pieces of popcorn and ate them. They had far too much butter, and the taste made him nauseous.</p><p>	Elias did an exaggerated dance to the music, some pop song. He howled along to the lyrics in a drawl that made Peter cringe. Something about a dancing queen.</p><p>	Eventually though, Peter was laughing.</p><p>	“Elias, I do not know how to dance!” Peter said after Elias tried to pull Peter along with him to what seemed to once be a living room that had turned into a dance floor.</p><p>	“It’s easy, Peter. Just flail your limbs along to the tune!” Elias had taken a few sips of whatever was in the cups, and he was starting to make less sense. </p><p>	“Jesus Christ, Elias.” Peter bobbed his head along to the song a little bit. The song itself was dreadful, but he enjoyed the excited look on Elias’s face. “Like this?”</p><p>	Elias snorted. “Sort of. But you have to loosen up a little bit! What, was the only dancing you ever did ballroom dancing?” He paused at the guilty look on Peter’s face. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”</p><p>	“Can’t I just watch you dance?” Peter protested. He felt his face growing hot, like he was being stared at. He didn’t want to turn around to see if someone actually was staring at him, though.</p><p>	“No, Peter, you need to dance with me.” Elias’s voice was dead serious, despite the fact that what he was asking for was ridiculous.</p><p>	Peter snorted. “Fine, fine.” He lifted his arms up and down to the music as well as nodding his head. “Does this work?”</p><p>	Elias grinned. “Perfect!” Elias started dancing as well, and despite the fact Peter was definitely blushing, Elias was definitely drunk, and they definitely looked ridiculous, Peter felt happy.</p><p>	Elias felt so very incredibly lucky.</p><p>	He was DANCING with PETER LUKAS. A few months ago Elias would have laughed at the assertion that he would ever be dancing with the kid at school that everyone’s eyes passed over, that nobody was even quite sure they’d heard the voice of before. But hey, a lot can change in a few months.</p><p>	Peter had a big, stupid smile on his face. It was a good look on him. There was a slight blush to his cheeks under the makeup, one that Elias was fairly certain was not because of booze so it was probably because of fatigue or the heat- that added a little bit of color to his usual so-pale-they-were-almost-white features.</p><p>	Peter danced like a zombie, despite the fact he was dressed like a ghost. It was sort of funny, all stiff limbs and muttered apologies to furniture he accidentally bumped into. There were other people around, but they surprisingly maneuvered around the two. Or maybe they didn’t. It was hard to tell. Elias’s head was fuzzy alcohol.</p><p>	“Jesus Christ, Peter. You are absolutely breathtaking,” Elias muttered. He wasn’t quite drunk enough to say it loudly.</p><p>	Fine. Maybe Elias had a LITTLE crush on Peter. So? He’d had crushes on boys and girls and everything in between and outside of that. Didn’t mean it would go anywhere. He’d probably forget about it and…</p><p>	Peter stumbled a little and caught himself using Elias. This caught Elias off guard, who also fell. </p><p>	“Oh my god Elias, how much did you drink?” Peter said when they’d gotten off the floor that was covered in who-knows-what.</p><p>	Elias smiled. “A lot.” He took another long sip from the beer, staring at Peter and not breaking eye contact.</p><p>	Peter laughed and hummed to the music. “Oh! I know this song!”</p><p>	Elias straightened up. “Really?”</p><p>	Peter laughed. “Yeah, it was my dad’s favorite.” He looked slightly sad at the mention.</p><p>	Elias put down his cup and started snapping along to the music.</p><p>	“Elias, that’s not even to the tune!” Peter’s tone was light, and he started laughing halfway through the sentence.</p><p>	Elias snorted. He hadn’t even noticed. “How about you show me how it’s done?”</p><p> </p><p>	Peter laughed again. It was nice. In the first few weeks of their friendship, he’d never heard Peter’s laugh, and now he heard it only rarely. Elias felt strangely jealous that now, when it came out, they were surrounded by people, but you win some, you lose some.</p><p>	Peter paused for a moment, listening to the music, and then started to sing. “When I first saw you… With your smile so tender… My heart was captured… My soul surrendered… I've spent a lifetime… Waiting for the right time… Now that you're near… The time is here, at last.” Peter continued singing. His voice was rusty, probably from years of disuse, and honestly, for all his scolding about ELIAS’S tune, he sounded like he’d never sang in his life, but it was sweet.</p><p>	All too soon, the song ended. Peter was even more flushed than before.</p><p>	“Really? A love song?” Elias laughed, taking another sip of the beer. It tasted like piss, but he needed to hide how much he himself was blushing.</p><p>	Peter scoffed. “Is that really so hard to contemplate? My dad was a strange person.”</p><p>	“Or maybe you’re just a romantic at heart.”</p><p>	Peter snorted. “No, I’m the sea captain that sails off at the end of the movie to live in solitude, only to be called back at the beginning of the next one to fight a grave evil.”</p><p>	Elias put his cup down. “Notice how those characters are almost always romantics?”</p><p>	“I am NOT a romantic!”</p><p>	“I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. Embrace yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>	Peter shook his head. “There’s no use arguing with you. You’re drunk.”</p><p>	Elias nodded. “Yeah, I’ll probably forget this conversation by tomorrow.”</p><p>	Peter looked at his watch. “It’s almost eleven.”</p><p>	Elias yawned, and it turned into a burp.</p><p>	“Repulsive,” Peter muttered, which triggered a loud laugh from Elias.</p><p>	They danced for a couple more minutes, before Elias yawned. “I’m beat.”</p><p>	Peter rolled his eyes. He was getting pretty tired himself. “That’s probably just because of how much you drank.”</p><p>	Elias put his hand to his heart and looked offended. “Peter, Peter! Lets try and cool it on the disappointment.”</p><p>	Peter shook his head. “That stuff rots your brain.”</p><p> </p><p>	Elias laughed, much louder than the situation permitted, but most of the people around them were drunk, so it didn’t trigger any stares. “You don’t need to tell me, big man. Besides, what is the POINT of sneaking out and partying with your fellow teens if you aren’t going to get drunk?”</p><p>	Peter snorted. “I don’t know. I did this because of you. I’d probably be asleep by now. Or reading.”</p><p>	“Nerd.” </p><p>	Peter stuck out his tongue, a childish reaction, but the fatigue was getting to him.</p><p>	Elias rubbed his temples. “I need to sit down.”</p><p>	Peter nodded, and led Elias to a couch he’d seen on his way in. The flashing lights were giving him a headache, and after a moment of hesitation, he turned to Elias. “Are we allowed to go upstairs?”</p><p>	Elias yawned. “Look, Peter, as long as it’s not physically barred off from us, we can do whatever we want.”</p><p>	“I am one hundred percent sure that is not true.”</p><p>	Elias walked toward the staircase, and after a second Peter followed him.</p><p>	It was calmer upstairs, the flashing lights were muted, the music was muffled. Elias walked to one of the rooms with an open door and after looking around and realising it was a bedroom, flopped down on the bed.</p><p>	Peter shook his head. “Elias you- you can’t sleep in someone else’s house!”</p><p>	Elias pulled a blanket over himself. “Why not?”</p><p>	“Jesus christ, Elias. You’re going to get killed one day.”</p><p>	“We all die one day. Might as well make it interesting…” He trailed off and closed his eyes.</p><p>	Peter shook his head. “You’ll be the death of us all.”</p><p>	Elias muttered something that was too quiet to make out.</p><p>	Peter stood awkwardly in the corner of the room. There were no chairs in the room, there was nothing for him to do, either. He wished he had skipped the party. He may have been lonely at home, but at least he wouldn’t have been in this situation.</p><p>	After about ten minutes of awkwardly standing around, he tentatively sat on the bed. Elias was passed out, breathing softly and slowly. Careful not to wake him up, Peter curled up on his side.</p><p>	After a bit, they were both asleep.</p><p>	“Elias! Peter! We’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Bao shook Peter awake.</p><p>	“Nggh…” Peter let out a sound of shock as he adjusted to his surroundings. </p><p>	“We were just about to call it quits and leave you guys.” Bao shook Elias awake as Natasha watched from the doorway.</p><p>	“I’m glad you didn’t do that.” Peter stood up, stretching.</p><p>	“Jesus Elias, how drunk are you?” Bao wrinkled their nose as Elias yawned.</p><p>	“Pretty fucking drunk,” Elias slurred.</p><p>	Bao rolled their eyes. “C’mon, we’re leaving. Some kids got in a fight and I am SICK of everyone talking about it.”</p><p>	“What?” Peter stood straight up.</p><p>	“Eh, not the worst turnout.” Bao and Natasha were already walking down the hallway.</p><p>	Peter sighed and pulled Elias down the hallway.</p><p>	The ride back was quiet. Elias had fallen asleep again and it was pretty late, so nobody was in any rush to make conversation.</p><p>	Bao looked over at Elias, who was muttering something as he slept. “Yeah, he’s not walking home.”</p><p>	Peter looked at Elias. “Do you know his address?”</p><p>	Bao gave a sharp laugh. “Trust me, you do not want Elias to see his father drunk.”</p><p>	“I guess I could take him back to my house.”</p><p> </p><p>	“That would probably be for the best.”</p><p>	Peter sighed as Bao dropped him and Elias off at the bus stop. He really didn’t want to risk Elias meeting his family, but he also didn’t want to put Elias in danger.</p><p>	It’ll be fine, Peter repeated over and over in his head as he walked a half-awake, horribly drunk Elias home. Nothing bad is going to happen.</p><p>	Peter opened the door, paused, and then walked Elias back up to his room. The house was dead silent, but that could be misleading, as the few people they had working at the house as well as Peter’s siblings were both trained to be quiet as a mouse.</p><p>	As soon as Elias reached Peter’s room, he flopped down on the bed. “Mine.”</p><p>	Peter sighed. He couldn’t help but smile a little as Elias started softly snoring. God, he was such an idiot.</p><p>	Peter walked into the bathroom, took a quick shower to get all the makeup off, and changed into fresh clothes. Then he grabbed a pillow and curled up on the floor, exhausted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And then nothing bad happens to them the end &lt;3333</p><p>Me: I hate mutal pining<br/>Also me:</p><p>My girlfriend has been making fun of me for the im a little fruity line for a week now. this is what i do for the content.</p><p>Anyway incoherent rant over! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated, drink your water and take your meds, yeehaw</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter's sibling makes a sacrifice</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had a lot of trouble writing this, I'm sorry it's so short.</p><p>CW for implied/shown neglect</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter woke up to the sound of Elias groaning.</p><p>	“My head. My poor, poor head!”</p><p>	“Jesus christ, Elias,” Peter muttered, still half asleep, “If you hadn’t drunk like a sailor last night, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”</p><p>	“I’m starving.”</p><p>	Peter looked up. Elias’s eyeliner was smudged all over his face, and he snorted. </p><p>	“What? I know I’m gorgeous.”</p><p>	“Surprised you didn’t freak out from waking up here.”</p><p>	“Eh, last night, one of my last coherent thoughts was, ‘I’m going to end up at either Bao’s or Peter’s place.’”</p><p>	“You should probably go shower. I can still smell the alcohol on you.” Peter stood up off the floor and stretched. “We need to get you out of here before my mom finds out.” If she even talked to Peter today. </p><p>	“Yeah, yeah. Can I use the bathroom connected to your bedroom? Which is still depressing as hell, by the way.”</p><p>	“Be my guest.”</p><p>	Elias gave a mock salute to Peter and walked into the bathroom. Peter heard the water turn on, followed by the sound of off-key singing.</p><p>	He turned toward the clock. It was nine, meaning his siblings wouldn’t be downstairs. They usually ate earlier, which was good. They were smart, and they’d probably notice the extra food he was grabbing.</p><p>	He walked downstairs, and nodded to their cook, who was… “trained” was a strong word… “encouraged” to not interact with them unless needed. </p><p>	“Can you please make three scrambled eggs?” Peter asked.</p><p>	The cook nodded, and after about eight minutes, Peter had his eggs, two glasses of water, two forks and was walking back upstairs.</p><p>	Elias was sitting on the bed. “Took you long enough,” he grumbled.</p><p>	“Aw. Someone’s moody.” Peter sat down next to Elias and handed him a fork, a glass of water, and adjusted the plate between them. “Bon appetit.”</p><p>	Elias downed the water in a couple of gulps, grabbed the fork, and dug into the eggs. He didn’t save any for Peter.</p><p>	“Rude.” Peter rolled his eyes. He wasn’t that hungry, but Elias could have ASKED.</p><p>	“Sorry, Peter, I’m starving,” Elias said in a tone that did not sound sorry at all. “So, when am I going to be kicked out of your house?”</p><p>	“What?”</p><p>	“Ah, sorry, I believe the more elegant question would be, when should I leave?”</p><p> </p><p>	“Probably soon.” Peter felt bad, but he really hadn’t planned for Elias to stay as long as he did. Or at all.</p><p>	“Alright, then. Should I make my exit?”</p><p>	“Yeah, c’mon, I’ll take you to the front door.”</p><p>	They walked downstairs in silence. When they reached the first floor, they heard footsteps.</p><p>	Peter froze.</p><p>	It was Sam.</p><p>	He froze too, clearly shocked to see them. Then his eyes widened. He gestured for them to move, and Peter got the memo and ducked behind the stairs, but Elias didn’t.</p><p>	“Who’s this?” His mother. Shit.</p><p>	“It’s- uh-” Sam stuttered for a moment. Peter couldn’t see Elias, but he could almost feel the fear radiating off him. “It’s… my friend?” Not a convincing performance. Peter cursed under his breath.</p><p>	“Really.” It wasn’t a question, not really. Peter’s mother sounded thoroughly pissed.</p><p>	“What’s your name?” Peter’s mother asked.</p><p>	“Elias.” To Elias’s credit, he sounded thoroughly confident in himself. Not freaking out, like Peter currently was.</p><p>	“Hm.” </p><p>	“You should probably go,” Sam said quietly.</p><p>	“Yes, you should.” Peter’s mother’s tone was even.</p><p>	“Alright, I’ll be off, then.” Peter heard Elias’s footsteps fade away.</p><p>	“We’ll talk about this later,” Peter’s mom said. Then he heard her walk away.</p><p>	Fuck.</p><p>	Peter stayed there for a few minutes longer, before he heard Sam start to cry.</p><p>	He stood there awkwardly, before coming out to try and comfort his brother. “Hey. I’m… sorry.”</p><p>	Sam looked up, wiping away tears. “She’s probably going to get rid of me now. Like Alexis.”</p><p>	“She- she wouldn’t!”</p><p>	“How do you know? Alexis disappears, no goodbye, no nothing. The supposed ‘relative’ she lives with hasn’t even contacted us in the years since she disappeared!”</p><p>	“I…”</p><p>	“Maybe she’ll feed me to The Lonely,” Alexis said it quietly. </p><p>	Peter looked down at his feet. He’d been thinking it, they probably all had been. Even since Alexis disappeared, Peter had been wondering how far his mother would go to serve it. The Lonely. They’d never talked about it, though.</p><p>	“Why’d you do it?” Peter asked.</p><p>	Sam shrugged. “I dunno.”</p><p>	“Thanks. No matter what happens,” Peter said. It felt weak compared to Sam’s sacrifice. Peter knew they’d crossed a line, made a big mistake.</p><p>	“Look, Peter, I… I’m gonna go. See you.”</p><p>	Sam walked back the way he’d come. There was no sign of their mother, just a few wisps of fog.</p><p>--</p><p>	That night, Jermey and Peter ate dinner alone. After dinner, their mom showed up. Fog clung to her.</p><p>	“Sam has decided to go live with his aunt. He asked me to say goodbye to you all.” Then their mother left, back into the fog.</p><p>	Jeremy didn’t ask what had happened. He didn’t have to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>OK SO YALL WEREN'T GONNA TELL ME THE LUKAS CHILDREN HAD NAMES SJHAKJHSKJHSAJKSHAKJAH</p><p>Drink some water! eat some food! i love u all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter and Elias leave high school</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There are probably a lot of typos... I’m writing this way too late and I’m exhausted, sorry.<br/>Cw for brief reference of homelessness, child abuse, and achoholism</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three years later</p><p>“FINALLY, it’s time to blow this joint.” Elias’s mask of a fake smile quickly dropped when they were out of range of the school.</p><p>“Jesus Christ Elias, you JUST graduated.” Bao yawned.</p><p>Peter Lukas smiled. It was a rare sunny day, but underneath his robes he had been sweating like crazy. </p><p>“And I’ve been in school for TWELVE years. TWELVE YEARS, Bao!” Elias snorted.</p><p>Natasha laughed. “You’re gonna go to college though, huh?”</p><p>Elias grinned. “King’s College, baby!” He shot in fist in the air, and Peter laughed. </p><p>Peter himself hadn’t wanted to go to college, but moving out and cutting contact with his family would probably not go well, so college it was.</p><p>He’d been planning it for the last year, along with Elias’s joking and serious contributions. Peter had gotten into King’s College as well, though he suspected it was more because of his family’s money rather than actual academic talent, which was fair.</p><p>He’d tried his best during his last year of school, but when Jeremy went missing as well… something inside Peter… broke.</p><p>It was no longer worth it to be the perfect son. He had nobody relying on him anymore. He had Elias, Bao, and Natasha, but they’d survive if he was gone.</p><p>There was still time for his family to get rid of him, he supposed. He had his stuff packed, just needed to make last-minute arrangements for his trip to London, write a letter to his mother, and he’d be gone.</p><p>He was spending the night at Natasha’s family home, then hopefully he’d make his way to London.</p><p>Peter was worrying over the plan again when Elias grabbed his hand. “You know what,” he said, “I think we need to go get some food.”</p><p>Bao grinned. “Sounds like a plan!”</p><p>When Bao and Natasha had moved to London, they’d ditched the van, so instead they walked the way into the small downtown area. They didn’t have a lot, but they did have one really good restaurant that sold steamed dumplings and nothing else, so the four of them made their way there.</p><p>The cashier greeted them. Surprisingly, there weren’t a lot of people in the restaurant, somehow they’d beaten the post-graduation rush, so they ordered their food and got a table.</p><p>“So, Peter,” Bao said through a mouthful of pork, of which Natasha made an exaggerated face of disgust, “What’s your major? You still haven’t told us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh,” Peter paused for a moment. “Mechanical engineering.”</p><p>“Really?” Bao sounded shocked for a moment.</p><p>Yeah, Peter had complained to hell and back about math and physics. But he genuinely did enjoy knowing how things worked. His mom hadn’t cared about his major, and when he’d brought it up to his teachers, it looked like it had taken them a second to remember who he was.</p><p>“No, I’m a liar.” Peter took a bite of his dumpling. “YES, I’m majoring in Mechanical engineering.”</p><p>“That’s cool!” Bao smiled. They’d graduated college with a bachelor’s in zoology a few weeks before, and now was looking for work. Natsha was still in college for Graphic design.</p><p>Peter snorted and finished his dumpling.</p><p>Elias fiddled around in his seat. He hadn’t grown much in three years, while Peter had a growth spurt, which meant that Peter could now rest his head on Elias's, which Peter found VERY funny. “Are you guys sure about this?”</p><p>Peter smiled. “I’m more ready than I’ve ever been about anything.”</p><p>Elias gasped in mock pain. “Even being friends with ME?”</p><p>Peter rolled his eyes. “Last I checked, it was your choice to befriend me.”</p><p>Bao laughed. “Yeah, Elias, you pretty much just adopt introverts.”</p><p>Natasha smirked. “Yeah.”</p><p>Elias taped his fingers on the table. “You guys are so mean.”</p><p>Bao raised their eyebrows. “That’s what happens when you deal with introverts outside of their natural habitat.”</p><p>Natasha laughed.</p><p>After, they walked back to the school.</p><p>“You’ll be back here in two hours?” Bao’s eyebrows were furrowed in nervousness.</p><p>“Yeah. Don’t worry,” Elias said, as Peter nodded.</p><p>Natasha snorted. “They can’t help it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have valid concerns!” Bao said defensively.</p><p>“I know. But these crazy kids will figure it out.”</p><p> </p><p>Elias rolled his eyes. “See you all!”</p><p>--</p><p>They went their respective ways. Peter worried all the way home. His mother hadn’t shown up to graduation, and hadn't given any indication that she was going to ever interact with him that day.</p><p>He walked up to his room and pulled his bags from under the bed from where he had put them. </p><p>Peter hadn’t told his mother he was leaving, obviously. There was just too much risk. There was a small part of him that still desired his mother’s love. Maybe, in another life, his mom would have been there for him. Maybe, in another life, his father would have taken him and his siblings with him instead of leaving him in the too-empty house. Maybe, in another life, he wouldn’t have even been born into this family at all. Maybe, in another life, he could have grown up safe and loved.</p><p>Peter took out a piece of paper. His hands shook with anxiety as he picked up his pen and started to write.</p><p>--</p><p>Mother,</p><p>I am leaving. By the time you read this, I will likely be gone. I am not telling you where I am going, even though you can likely find out yourself.</p><p>Although you will probably not grieve me, in the way you did not mourn after sending the rest of my siblings away, you will still have my cousins to form into servants of The Lonely. </p><p>Know that if you wish to come after me in a threatening way, I will not hesitate before filing for a restraining order.</p><p>Peter</p><p>--</p><p>It wasn’t a good goodbye letter. It was barely even really a goodbye. But it was all she would be getting.</p><p>He walked down the path from the house and stared. He knew it would probably be the last time he’d see it, so he gave a long look at the massive grounds. Where he’d played as a child, where he’d hidden from his parents and then only his mother, where he’d cried, face held in his hands as another sibling disappeared.</p><p>Generations of Lukases had lived in the house, but it had never really felt like a home.</p><p>--</p><p>Elias crept out the back of his house. He didn’t want to leave his mother, but he needed to get out. He’d come back for her, eventually.</p><p>His mother knew he was leaving. So did his father, but he’d been so drunk when Elias told him that it was a miracle if he actually remembered.</p><p>He wished he didn’t have to worry about what would happen. When he left. Would his mother decide to hop off the deep end with his father and stop paying the bills, and by the time Elias found out it would be too late?</p><p>Elias sighed. It was too late to change his mind now. He’d just have to trust his mom would stay strong until Elias had a place she could live. Which probably wouldn’t be for another two or three years.</p><p>He looked over his shoulder. He looked at the small, sagging house, peeling gray paint, rotting boards, small garden, and all. He wouldn’t be able to walk through the woods with his two suitcases, but he’d made peace with the place already.</p><p>He took a deep breath and walked back to the school.</p><p>--</p><p>Natasha and Bao were waiting for Elias when he reached the school.</p><p>“Where’s Peter?” Elias asked.</p><p>“Dunno,” Bao said. “It’s okay, we can wait.”</p><p>They did wait. They waited for hours, the silence between them growing tenser as the sun began to set and sweat dripped down their faces.</p><p>Elias was about to give up when a familiar blonde came walking around the corner.</p><p>“Peter!” Elias ran over to him.</p><p>“Hey, Elias.” Peter smiled. His face was flushed red and dripping in sweat, and his chest was heaving. Elias saw dried tears dripping down his cheeks. His arms were shaking where he was holding his suitcases, and  there was a slight rasp to his breath.</p><p>Elias grabbed Peter’s arm. “What happened? Are you-”</p><p>Peter flinched. “I- I’m fine. We should- we should leave.”</p><p>Elias frowned. “I’m serious-”</p><p>“I know. So am I. Let’s go.” Peter brushed past Elias.</p><p>Elias knew he wouldn’t get anything more out of Peter, so he sighed and followed.</p><p>Bao smiled. “C’mon, let’s go.”</p><p>They walked back through the roads, Natasha leading. The sun was almost set by the time they reached her family’s house, a two story green cottage with a small yard and a fish pond in the front.</p><p>“Hold on.” Natasha reached in her pocket for her key and opened it. “Mom?”</p><p>An older woman with long gray hair and blue eyes came to the door. “Natasha! I was starting to get worried about you. Marc?” She turned her head back towards the inside of the house. “Natasha’s here!”</p><p>A man with brown salt-and-pepper hair cut to just below his chin with freckles over his face, Marc, Elias assumed, came to the door. “Natasha! It’s so good to see you!” He smiled and reached for a hug, which Natasha reciprocated.</p><p>“Hey, Dad,” Natasha said quietly.</p><p>“Are these your friends?” Marc motioned over to the band of them. It must have been a weird site, Bao, with their black leather jacket and their face studded with piercings, Peter, with his way-too-formal clothes covered with a raincoat and two big suitcases, and Elias, with his band t-shirt that the writing was too faded to read and cargo shorts with his two, smaller suitcases.</p><p>“Yeah.” Natasha pulled back from the hug and turned back to them. “Can they come in?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” </p><p>They walked towards the house, and Natasha’s parents smiled and greeted each of them. Natasha’s mom was named Ellie.</p><p>They walked into the house, and Elias couldn’t stop staring at it. He hadn’t been to many close friend’s houses, but Peter’s had been vast and empty, while Bao’s had been nonexistent, and Elias’s own had been in a constant state of disrepair and messy. Natasha’s was… nice. It felt like a home. There were some pictures of their family on the wall, decorations like the little elephant statue on a hallway bookshelf, and the house was painted warm colors. It felt lived in.</p><p>Elias glanced at the clock. He hadn’t really been paying attention to the time- it had been six when he’d left the house- now it was almost eight.</p><p>Ellie smiled. “We already ate dinner, but if you haven’t eaten, we can make you something.”</p><p>Bao smiled. “That would be great, Ellie.” Elias had no idea if Bao had actually met Ellie before, and he felt guilty for never learning more about Natasha’s life and family while she listened to them all talk about their own lives.</p><p>“Alright, do you all have any allergies?” She and Marcus walked in the kitchen and started looking at ingredients.</p><p>They all responded no. Ellie smiled and told Natasha to show their guests to the living room, which she did. They watched television for a few minutes, before Ellie called them from the other room.</p><p>“I made pasta! Here you go,” she handed Elias a plate. “If you want any sauce, help yourself,” she said, pointing to a pot.</p><p>“Thank you so much,” Peter said. He had a slight blush to his cheeks, and Elias smiled at the sight. It was nice to see a little glimpse of what their life would be like now that they’d gotten out.</p><p>They ate dinner, Ellie making conversation while the rest of them responded. It was weird to see how talkative Ellie and Marcus were when Natasha was so quiet, but Elias supposed that people didn’t inherit everything from their parents.</p><p>When dinner was done, Ellie stood up and cleared the table, while Marcus washed dishes. “You all have an early ride ahead of you, don’t you? You should probably go to bed.”</p><p>“It’s only nine-thirty. We can help with the kitchen,” Bao said.</p><p>“No, don’t worry about it. Please, get some rest.” Ellie pushed them towards the stairs, and eventually Bao surrendered and followed the rest of them upstairs.</p><p>Peter and Elias strained pulling the bags upstairs, but they didn’t complain. </p><p>Natasha yawned. “We have two guest bedrooms. You guys can stay in that one,” Natasha motioned towards one further down the hall. “And we’ll stay in this one.” She pointed to one in front of them.</p><p>Peter yawned. “Can I shower?”</p><p>Natasha nodded. “Of course. The bathrooms the next door to the left, and towels are under the sink.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Peter walked down the hall to the bathroom, and in their bedroom, Elias changed into a pajama shirt and shorts. He sat on the edge of the large bed, reading a magazine that had been left on the desk.</p><p>After a few minutes, Peter came into the room as well, hair wet from the shower and changed into fresh clothes.</p><p>Elias waved and smiled. “I’m exhausted. Can we go right to bed?”</p><p>Peter rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. It feels like this day was 20 of them.”</p><p>Elias laughed. “I know what you mean.”</p><p>Peter slipped under the covers and Elias turned off the lights before joining him. </p><p>Elias looked over at Peter, eyes closed and breathing softly.</p><p>You, he thought, have no right to be that cute.</p><p>Elias had never shared a bed with Peter before. He’d slept over at Peter’s house that one time, but that was it. He felt his crush he’d convinced himself died resurface. </p><p>Elias was scolding himself for being a lovesick idiot when he thought about something else.</p><p>“Peter?” He said.</p><p>“Yeah?” Peter responded quietly.</p><p>“What was that? Earlier? What happened?”</p><p>Peter was silent for a long time. Elias thought he’d fallen back asleep when he responded, “It was- my mom. She- she caught me on my way out.”</p><p>Elias felt himself crack inside. He reached over and hugged Peter. “I-I’m so sorry. I- I won’t let them hurt you anymore.”</p><p>Peter shook with quiet sobs, and they stayed like that for a long time before finally falling asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Today’s chapter BROKE ME but no I will not be lining things up with canon because idk who this allan fucker is but all I know is Bao and Natasha, aka characters that were supposed to be one-offs that I fell in love with</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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